


you steal the air out of my lungs (you make me feel it)

by tskymaa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mentions of Death, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Sharing a Bed, Sleepovers, like kageyama's dad has been dead since he was little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27702058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tskymaa/pseuds/tskymaa
Summary: Kageyama tried not to think too much about it as he wrapped the scarf around himself. It was warm from being on Hinata’s skin.He’s still ten minutes from his house and he’s feeling pretty tired. Each breath hurts more and more. When he stops to cough, it seemingly confirms his suspicions that he’s managed to get a cold. He thinks about asking his mom if he can stay home tomorrow and just restin which kageyama has hanahaki and he comes to terms that he really loves hinata shouyou (and hinata just might love him back)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 7
Kudos: 151





	you steal the air out of my lungs (you make me feel it)

**Author's Note:**

> tw // panic attacks, mentions of death, thoughts of dying (if you want specifics see end note)
> 
> i decided there was not enough sharing a bed or hanahaki fics in this fandom so i took it upon myself to write this. also i hate angst this is is very light in angst.
> 
> finally please excuse weird errors or sentences, i wrote this in like a day while i was supposed to be paying attention to my zoom lectures

  
I saw your face and hands  
Coloured in sun and then  
I think I understand  
Will I understand?  
\- The Bleachers, Don’t Take the Money  


It starts with a scratch at the back of his throat.

Kageyama is in the middle of a text argument with Hinata about the logistics of serving (“do i really need to learn how to jump serve ???”) (“yes, dumbass”).

Hinata is adamant that he’s fine doing a regular overhand serve and even though Kageyama knows better, he isn’t up for the argument right now.

10:01 PM - To Hinata 

You won’t catch up to me if you don’t jump serve

10:03 PM - From Hinata

(○口○ )

10:03 - From Hinata

ur mean >:(

10:04 - To Hinata

I’ll teach you if you agree to shut up and go to sleep

10:05 - From Hinata

!!!

10:05 - From Hinata

thnk you!!

10:05 - From Hinata

i could kiss you !

10:05 - From Hinata

but i won’t  ﾍ(･_|

Kageyama feels heat rush to his face. Hinata is such a dummy why would he say that? As he types a response, he feels a tickle in the back of his throat. He figures he’s just thirsty and takes a long drink from the glass of water he keeps near his bed. 

10:07 - To Hinata

What did I say? Go to sleep.

10:07 - From Hinata

good night bakayama 

Kageyema sighs and plugs his phone in before he rolls over and falls asleep, not noticing the tightness beginning to take hold in his chest

The next morning his throat still feels weird so he asks his mom to make him tea and she offers him some cold medicine before he leaves the house. 

At practice, his lungs burn more than usual and he wonders if he needs to start jogging more. Hinata notices his heavy panting during a break and pats his back aggressively. 

“Don’t tell me you got yourself sick, Bakayama,” he says while placing firm hits between Kageyama’s shoulder blades. 

“Shut up,” Kageyama says, pulling himself away from Hinata’s hand. “I don’t get sick,” he says, taking another drink of water. Hinata shrugs and as he walks away, Kageyama can’t help but to worry about his body.  _ Am I sick? How would I even get sick? Am I just getting out of shape? _

Coach Ukai blows his whistle to continue their practice game and Kageyama pushes the thoughts away. He doesn’t have time to worry right now. He jogs back to the court and takes his place to serve.

The next day as he’s walking home, it happens. 

It’s cold outside as winter creeps further along and it’s already November so it’s only a few more weeks before he’ll be able to see his breath in the air. He’s just parted from Hinata at their usual intersection where Hinata has to begin his bike ride up the mountain. Hinata had taken off his scarf and pushed it into Kageyama’s hands.

“You can’t get more sick,” he had said as he mounted his bike and took off into the cold night.

Kageyama tried not to think too much about it as he wrapped the scarf around himself. It was warm from being on Hinata’s skin.

He’s still ten minutes from his house and he’s feeling pretty tired. Each breath hurts more and more. When he stops to cough, it seemingly confirms his suspicions that he’s managed to get a cold. He thinks about asking his mom if he can stay home tomorrow and just rest.

It seems as though he’ll never stop coughing and he feels like he’s about to puke. Finally, something dislodges itself from his lungs and he pants softly into the air as his coughing fit comes to the end. He looks down at his gloves, ready to take them off and apologize to his mom since she’ll have to wash them, and his blood runs cold. Sitting there, stuck on the wool of his gloves, is an orange flower petal freckled with black stripes.

_ What the fuck _ .

Kageyama looks around for a tree or bush where the flower might have come from but the road is empty around him. There’s no breeze around so it couldn’t have flown into his hand. He keeps looking around hoping to come to a conclusion but his brain wanders to the story he heard as a child. 

His grandpa had told him a long time ago about a commoner who fell in love with a prince. He didn’t love her back and she fell ill, coughing up flowers until she died. It wasn’t a fun story at all and frankly he’s surprised his grandpa told him it in the first place. But now he’s here, coughing up a flower petal it seems, and he perhaps is a commoner on his way to death. 

_ No. Don’t be dumb.  _

He flicks the flower off his glove and runs home, his lungs screaming at him the whole way.

After dinner and a shower, he curls into his bed. Logically, flowers don't come out of people’s lungs. That flower had to come from somewhere. Kageyama settles on the theory that the flower had gotten stuck on his gloves from earlier in the day at school somewhere and he didn’t see it until after he coughed into his hands. 

And yet, as he brings his hand up to press against his chest, he can’t help but feel fearful about a future where he won’t be able to stop coughing up flowers. 

The next morning, he decides against asking his mom to stay home. He won’t allow himself to be sick. He walks to school at a slow pace, keeping the burning in his lungs at ease. When he gets there, he spots Hinata at the bike racks and his heart speeds up. He figures it’s just because if Hinata sees him, he’ll want to race and Kageyama definitely cannot race right now. 

He waits until Hinata leaves for the gym and disappears out of Kageyama view. Kageyama follows him and he wonders if he’ll be able to practice. He feels like he can’t catch a full breath and it's worrying.  _ Maybe I should have stayed home. _

He’s on the walkway in front of the gym when a coughing fit hits him again. He doubles over and coughs into the crook of his elbow. He hopes no one is around him because it sounds disgusting, even to his own ears. Just as he’s starting to feel relief, Tanaka appears in front of him. He can just make out his upperclassmen’s body through his watery eyes as he lets out a final cough that feels like his lungs are being ripped out of him. 

“Are you okay, Kageyama?” Tanaka asks, the worry very evident in his voice. Kageyama doesn’t answer and he stays doubled over, trying to catch his breath. He watches Tanaka’s shoes disappear and feels a hand on his back. Kageyama usually hates being touched but he’s too tired to care that Tanaka is rubbing his back.

Then he hears a sharp gasp from Tanaka and the hand on his back stops moving. Kageyama brings his eyes up, about to ask Tanaka what’s wrong when he sees the flower petal on his sleeve.

_ No. No no no no no no no. _

They’re both frozen there. Staring at the petal stuck to Kageyama’s sleeve, covered in his spit. 

“What are you guys looking at?” Sugawara’s voice startles them from their position.

“Dude,” Tanaka says. He looks up to meet Sugawara’s eyes. “Kageyama has hanahaki.”

Kageyama’s face burns. He drops his arms and stares at the ground.  _ This cannot be happening. _

“What? Are you sure?” Sugawara asks. He comes closer to them and looks at Kageyama, focusing on the flower petal still stuck to his arm.

Kageyama thinks he’s going to die. From the hanahaki maybe but this moment alone is enough to wish for death. Because there is only one person in the world it could be. Kageyama’s a little slow at recognizing his feelings but he knows right then and there that he’s fucked. Even if his brain isn’t caught up, his heart knows that there's a boy with orange hair and a personality the size of the sun contained in 162 cm who is causing this to happen.

Sugawara and Tanaka are clearly waiting for Kageyama to answer but his voice is lost. 

Tanaka sighs. “I saw him coughing here and I just thought he was sick. But when it was all over, I saw that.” He motions to the flower petal.

Sugawara places a hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, finally prompting Kageyama to look at him. “Is that true?” his voice is gentle as he asks.

Kageyama curtly nods. “Yeah,” he says. His voice is weak partly from coughing, partly from the absolute shock he feels.

“You didn’t know you had it, did you?” Sugawara asks, patting his shoulder.  _ There has been way more touching and patting today than the whole year combined.  _

“Huh? You didn’t??” Tanaka gapes.

“No,” Kageyama says, shaking his head. “I thought I caught a cold,” he mumbles.

Sugawara squeezes Kageyama’s shoulder one more time and pulls his hand away. “So what are you going to do about it?” 

Kageyama knits his eyebrows together. “What am I going to do?” he asks, confused. He didn’t know he could do something about it.

Tanaka nods. “Yeah, Kageyama, what’s your plan here,” he says, putting his hands on his hips.

“Well,” Kageyama fumbles with his hands, “I-I don’t know.”

“Does the person know?” Sugawara prompts.

“Um,” Kageyama takes a deep breath. What should he say? If he says no, then they’ll ask who it is and make him confess. He can’t handle it. Not now before he’s even processed it himself. So he says, “I don’t actually know who it is.”

“What?!” Tanaka yells.

“Yeah, I don’t,” Kageyama says, scratching his neck. 

_ Liar, liar. _

Sugawara gives him a sad look. “Well, no point in dwelling on it right now. We can’t solve a mystery out here in the cold,” he says. “If you’re okay, let’s just practice.”

“Okay,” Kageyama says. He peels the now dried flower petal off his jacket and flicks it to the ground then he begins walking to the gym.

“Wait,” Tanaka says. “We can’t just drop this!”

Kageyama’s head hurts, he can’t deal with this. Not now or ever. 

Sugawara must realize Kageyama’s feelings because he answers. “Tanaka, let’s discuss this later,” he says. Then he catches Kageyama’s eye and adds “and let’s keep it between us for now.”

Kageyama nods. He doesn’t stay to hear more from Tanaka and walks into the gym where Hinata is setting up the net. Kageyama feels his breath catch in his throat but now he knows; it’s the fucking flowers consuming his lungs. 

Practice is harder than it’s ever been and he has to take breaks a lot to catch his breath. Nobody says anything thankfully, and he lets Sugawara take the lead as the setter. Hinata keeps throwing him worried looks but manages to stay quiet. 

During lunch, Hinata corners him by the vending machines. “Kageyama, why are you sick,” he says accusingly. 

“What?” Kageyama sneers. He knows his face is an attempt to hide his feelings, and he hopes Hinata won’t take it too personally.

“Why are you sick, Bakayama??” Hinata says again, louder.

Kageyama rolls his eyes. “How am I supposed to know?”  _ Well. _

“Did you go outside without a scarf even after I so graciously lent you mine? Have you been pushing yourself too hard? We have nationals soon, dummy. You can’t get sick!” Hinata says, waving his arms around frantically.

Just then Kageyama feels the familiar tightening his chest.  _ I need to get out of here.  _

“Leave me alone,” he says, trying to keep his voice even but it seems impossible now that he can’t even seem to breath in.

“No! I’m worried!” Hinata says, following as Kageyama turns away.

“Hinata,” Kageyama warns in his best scary voice. It’s hard though with a beginning of cough threatening to make itself known. 

Hinata rolls his eyes, thankfully taking a hint. “Fine, but this conversation isn’t over.”

He’s just turning the corner when Kageyama’s lungs can’t take it any longer. He heaves into his sleeve, and he swears he feels the flower petal work its way out of his lungs and into his throat. After he’s done, leaning against the vending machine, he looks down and sees two petals. _ I’m really, really fucked.  _

Kageyama arrives at practice and immediately corners Sugawara. “It’s getting worse,” he says.

Sugawara gives him a sad smile. “I’m sorry, that’s how it works, Kageyama,” he says.

“I don’t think I can-” he begins coughing again. Sugawara's face shifts to concern as he pulls Kageyama out of the gym. Kageyama keeps coughing into his sleeve until he can’t breath and he feels faint. 

When it passes, he notices Sugawara’s hand is rubbing his back.

He pulls back and looks at his sleeve. Three petals this time. Sugawara notices too but he tries his best to quell his worry. “It’ll be okay, Kageyama,” he says softly.

Kageyama nods but he doesn’t believe it.

He’s only a little surprised when Sugawara puts his arms around him and hugs him. “It will be, Tobio,” he says. Kageyama grimaces at hearing his given name said but he lets it slide for this moment. He knows Sugawara is just trying to be helpful. When Sugawara pulls away, he holds Kageyama’s gaze. “I’ll help you as much as I can.”

Kageyama takes a deep breath - well as much as he can. “Thank you, Sugawara,” he says. 

Sugawara gives him a smile. “You’ll get through this,” he says. Then he puts on his best ‘captain’ face. “Now, you should get yourself home and rest.”

Kageyama feels his body freeze, “But-”

“No, no,” Sugawara says, shaking his head. “Go home, rest, think.”

“But, I-”

“Nope!” Sugawara says. He forces Kageyama towards the club room. “Don’t worry, I’ll handle the team,” he winks at him and turns back to the gym.

Kageyama changes out of his volleyball clothes slowly. He doesn’t want to go home but he knows Sugawara is right. He isn’t able to practice. Just walking up the steps to the club room was hard and Kageyama can tell he’s going to start coughing again soon. 

As he’s about to open the door to exit the room, Hinata walks in. “Oh!” he says, seeing Kageyama has changed into his uniform. “Are you going home?” he asks, tilting his head.

Kageyama nods, “I’m too sick to be useful.”  _ And it’s your fault _ .

Hinata pouts, “You suck,” he says. 

Kageyama huffs. “You’re so insensitive,” he says.

Hinata sighs, “I just hate that you’re sick!” 

“Me too,” Kageyama mumbles. He’s about to open the door and get out of there when Hinata stops him. 

“Wait, let me walk with you!” he says.

Kageyama's heart stops and begins again faster than normal. “Don’t be dumb,” he says. “You have to be here for practice.”

Hinata rolls his eyes. “I know! I’m going to walk you to the gate,” he says.

“Why?” Kageyama asks before he can stop himself.

Hinata shrugs. “Well, to make sure you don’t die,” he says.

Kageyama doesn’t realize he was hoping for another answer until he hears Hinata’s words. 

“Fine, but hurry up,” he grumbles, opening the door.

“Okay, I just need my knee pads,” Hinata says.

Kageyama waits outside in the cold, trying to convince himself his shallow breaths are from the shaep wind and not the stupid flowers currently residing in his lungs.

Hinata joins him on the walkway and they make their way across the campus as the sun begins to set. “Kageyama,” Hinata says. 

Kageyama turns his head to look down at Hinata, “Yes?”

“Please take care of yourself,” he says.

Kageyama feels his face flush. He kind of likes that Hinata is so worried. And by kind of he means he really likes it. 

“I will,” he says. 

“Oh and,” Hinata reached up to the scarf curled around Kageyama’s neck. His scarf. “This is my favorite scarf so you better return it soon.”

Kageyama’s face gets even redder and he hopes that Hinata thinks it's from the cold. “I will, dummy.”

They reach the gate and Hinata waves at him. “Get better soon then, Bakayama!” he says. Then he turns on his heel and sprints back to the gym. Not for the first time, Kageyama is taken by Hinata’s sheer speed and athletic ability.  _ I can’t die of this dumb illness because then I won’t ever be able to beat him. _

It takes Kageyama almost a full 10 minutes extra to get home because he’s trying not to burst his lungs and he already stopped once to cough up another two flowers. This time though, he didn’t throw the petals on the ground. He carefully placed them into his pocket to study them later.

When he arrives, his mom is in the kitchen cooking dinner.

“Oh!” she says surprised, “You’re early!”

“I’m not feeling well,” he says, hoping she’ll remember making him tea yesterday morning.

She must remember or Kageyama’s face shows his sheer exhaustion because she nods and places a kiss on his forehead without him having to explain. “I’ll make some soup for you, go lay down,” she says.

Kagayam retreats upstairs and decides to have a shower, telling himself the stream is good for congestion even though he knows that that isn’t his problem.

Afterwards, he decides to really go all in with the sick thing and he pulls on a pair of baggy gray sweatpants and his father's old hoodie of the Japan men’s national volleyball team from the 80s. He only wears it if he’s super sick or really cold because it’s thick and covers him to his thighs even at his height. Plus he’d hate to wear it all the time and risk ruining the hoodie since it's one of the only ways Kageyama can connect to his dad.

Kageyama’s mom comes in a little while later with a bowl of soup and a cup of tea. She takes note of the hoodie and immediately knows Kageyama is truly sick. 

Kageyama takes the soup from her and she places the tea on his bedside table. Then she reaches over and places her hand on Kageyama’s forehead. 

“Hmm,” she says. “You don’t have a fever.”

Kageyama shrugs and takes a spoonful of soup. It immediately makes his scratchy throat feel better.

“Maybe we should visit the doctor,” she says.

At that, Kageyama stops eating. “No,” he says. From the look his mom gives him, he knows he’s being suspicious but he presses forward. “It’s really not a big deal and I wouldn't want you missing work or anything,” he says.

His mom nods, “You’re right, it’s not the first time you’ve been sick.” She stands up. “But if you don’t get better soon, I’m taking you,” she says.

Kageyama agrees and she leaves him alone to finish the soup.

When he’s eaten dinner and finished his tea, Kageyama decides that it’s time.

He opens his laptop and begins typing the word ‘hanahaki’. He gets halfway through the word before the search autocompletes. He clicks it and immediately sites pop up with symptoms, treatments, blog posts, web forums, and even popular movies. He feels overwhelmed but marches forward.

After scanning through many articles, he finally seems to have a grasp on his illness.

According to various web sources - yes WebMD is a completely valid source, thank you - he comes to find that less than 0.5% of the population has the gene to express hanahaki and even less than that will suffer from the disease.  _ Lucky me _ . He learns that the illness can only be cured through a confession of love by the object of their affection or through surgery but surgery would cause all feelings for that person to disappear (even platonic ones). He also finds that there isn’t a set progression to the disease with the longest survivor with hanahaki without being cured lived almost two years coughing up flowers. But Kageyama can tell based on the forums he’s read that he will not be so lucky. In fact, he’ll be lucky if he makes it through the next month.

As it stands, dying is definitely not an option. Kageyama has an entire life and volleyball career ahead of him beginning with nationals in just a month and a half. He’s never really put much thought into dying before but now that he’s staring it in the face, he knows he definitely does not want to stop living. 

He pours through more and more articles reading all different accounts. It’s making his head hurt and suddenly Kageyama feels his chest tightening. He wonders if it’s another coughing attack but it feels different this time. His breathing is shallow and quick and he feels like he needs to cry. All he can think about is dying and he just can’t. He can’t die. He snaps his laptop shut and pushes it away from himself. Then, he curls into a ball on his bed as sobs wracked his body. He needs to live and be here with his mom. He can’t leave her alone. 

He’s not sure how long he cries for but eventually he finds himself breathing softly in the still of the night. He stretches out his stiff limbs and recalls a time Yachi had told him and Hinata about her anxiety.  _ Oh, that was a panic attack. _

He decides enough is enough for tonight. There’s nothing he can do anymore at 11pm with an exhausted mind. He puts his laptop away and tucks himself under the sheets.

Just as he’s about to fall asleep, he gets a text from Hinata.

11:22 PM - From Hinata 

good night kageyama. get better soon!

Kageyama wonders what he should say. Should he just say thanks and good night? Should he tell Hinata everything? There’s so much he wants to tell him but he finds there are no words in his mind. He contemplates not answering at all but he relents.

11:26 PM - To Hinata

Good night Hinata

_ It’s good enough _ , he thinks as he rolls over and really sleeps.

The next morning, Kageyama stays home from school. After his mom leaves he pulls out the flower petals from his jacket and starts researching on his laptop again, careful to avoid accounts of people dying from hanahaki. It doesn’t take him long to find that these flowers are  _ alstroemeria _ or Peruvian Lilies. They symbolize friendship and love.

_ Yeah, that would be it. _

To add onto it, his flower petals are orange just like Hinata’s hair. The stupid disease couldn’t make it anymore obivious. He’s actually surprised Sugawara didn’t say anything but he probably knows - Sugawara always seems to know. He contemplates texting Sugawara and threatening him so he won’t tell anyone but that would mean he has to admit outloud to another person he likes - well loves - Hinata Shouyou and he can’t do that. 

Plus, even if he wanted to text Sugawara, he can’t because another coughing fit consumes him and when he’s done, he has a small collection of sticky flower petals in his hands. A physical reminder that his existence is now consumed by love for Hinata.

Kageyama gets up and washes his hands. When he lays back in bed, he thinks about Hinata. What else is there to do? Kageyama can’t exactly pinpoint when he started to like Hinata but the love must have come just recently. But why? He doesn’t really know.

Just a few months ago, he was threatening Hinata and secretly hoping he would drop off the face of the earth. And now. Well now he was bed ridden from this all consuming love. It seemed silly because it seemed his feelings were only unknown to his conscious self since the rest of him was fully aware of his feelings. Did he really love Hinata? He must if this is what was happening. It’s not like there was anyone else it could be.

Hinata and his orange curly hair. Hinata and his brown eyes. Hinata and his wide smile. Hinata and jumps. Hinata and his-

Okay yup, he gets it. 

Kageyama’s lungs hurt even though he hasn’t done anything except walk to and from the bathroom. He closes his eyes and sleeps.

When he wakes up again, he has a text from four people. The first is from his mom.

9:50 AM - From Mom

I’ll pick up some more soup for you on the way home. How do you feel?

He replies that he’s fine.

10:20 AM - From Tanaka

Good morning, lover boy! If you need me to confess your feelings for you, I can do it (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

He deletes the message.

11:00 AM - From Sugawara

Are you doing okay? Daichi and I can stop by after practice if you need anything 

1:40 PM - To Sugawara 

I’m feeling okay. Thank you. I’ll let you know.

And finally, the last text (well texts).

9:54 AM - From Hinata

KAGEYAMA STOP BEING SICK

11: 25 AM - From Hinata

lunch is so boring without you bullying me :(

12:00 PM - From Hinata

i miss my scarf (;﹏;)

1:30 PM - From Hinata

i’m going to stop by after practice to give you your homework

1:43 PM - To Hinata 

School will make me more sick

1:50 PM - From Hinata

u just suck at school （￣へ￣）

1:51 PM - To Hinata

You too. Pay attention in class

2:00 PM - From Hinata

no <3

Kageyama stops replying. At least one of them needs to pass school. 

He spends the rest of the day watching volleyball highlights on his laptop, coughing, eating soup his mom left him and thinking about Hinata. 

Not that he’ll admit he’s collectively spent over two hour just thinking about him. 

It’s not like he’s being all mushy and fantasizing about their future and marriage and kids (because um, gross?). He’s trying to pinpoint his true feelings and really process everything but it’s so hard. He knows he told Hinata not to think or he’ll get a fever but he’s feeling that way himself. Thinking is too difficult.

He doesn’t realize he’s asleep again until he wakes up to his mom knocking on his door.

“You have a visitor, Tobio,” she says from outside the door.

It’s dark in the room at the LED clock shows that it’s a little after 6pm. Kageyama sits up and turns his bedside table on right as his door opens.

Hinata is standing there holding a pack of paper in his hands. His face is flushed from the cold and his hair is sticking out of his beanie. He kind of looks cute. Kageyama feels his chest tighten.  _ Goddammit _ .

Hinata doesn’t even get a chance to greet him before Kageyama is bolting out of his bed and running to the bathroom. He’s lucky he doesn’t see Hinata’s hurt and confused face or his mother’s worried one.

He closes the door to the bathroom and begins heaving. His coughs leave him feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen and the toilet bowl is now contaminated with flower petals. To Kageyama’s sheer horror, he realizes he’s coughed up a whole flower head too. 

This is getting way worse than anticipated.

He manages to right himself and flush the toilet before his mom comes into the bathroom. 

“Tobio are you alright?” she asks, 

Kageyama nods. “It’s okay,” he says.

She takes his hand in hers. “I’m so worried. We’re going to the doctor’s tomorrow,” she says. 

It's not like Kageyama can argue. He’ll have to tell his mom later that he has hanahaki and going to the doctor about this point would be silly. He squeezes her hand and looks past her to see Hinata looking at him with pure concern. Right now, he just wants Hinata to stop looking at him like that.

He walks out of the bathroom and goes over to where Hinata is watching from the hallway outside his room.

“Don’t look like that,” Kageyama says, ruffling his hair.

Hinata scrunches up his face. “Like what?” he asks, clearly trying to pull his expression together.

“C’mon,” he says,

His mom lets them go to his room and tells them she’ll call when dinner is ready. 

Kageyama throws himself back onto his bed as Hinata takes the desk chair. Hinata has deposited the school work on his desk and his backpack is leaning against the wall near his wardrobe. 

“You’re worrying me, Kageyama,” Hinata eventually says.

Kageyama props his head up to look at Hinata. There’s no happiness in there. Kageyama lets his head fall back. “It’s just a cough,” he says.

Hinata huffs. Kageyema hears him moving around the room and then feels a dip in his bed as Hinata lays down next to him. Kageyama is lucky his mom had insisted on getting him a double bed when he entered high school.

“Practice is so boring when I can’t hit your tosses,” Hinata says.

Kageyama closes his eyes, focusing on his breathing. “Sugawara is a good setter,” he replies.

“Yeah but you’re,” there’s a pause. Kageyama guesses he’s moving his hands in the air so he cracks an eye open and watches Hinata’s hands fumble in front of their faces. “You’re you,” Hinata settles on.

Kageyama can’t help the small smile that works it’s way on his face. Luckily Hinata is staring at the ceiling so he doesn’t see.

They lay there in silence and Kageyama thinks they might fall asleep soon when his mom calls them downstairs for dinner.

A few hours later after Hinta leaves (not before he bullies Kageyama into doing their math worksheet together) and Kageyama is showered ready for bed, he walks downstairs to find his mom sitting at the dining table, looking over paperwork.

“Mom,” he says, pulling a chair out for himself.

She sets her paperwork down and takes off her reading glasses. Her eyes are just the same shade of blue as his.

“Are you doing okay?” she asks as he takes a seat.

“Yeah but, I need to tell you something,” he says. He looks down at his hands and feels his lungs shaking. This time though it's from nerves and thankfully not the hanahaki. Who knew the sweet breathlessness from anxiety would be so comforting?

Kageyama’s mom reaches for his hands that are clenched on the table. She doesn’t say anything as she begins messaging his knuckles, relaxing him.

“I,” he takes a moment to breath. “I have hanahaki.”

His mom’s hands stop over his. “Are you sure?” she asks, her face going pale.

“Yes, I am,” he says, turning away from her gaze.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying. Tears trickle down his face as his mom stands up and walks around the table. She hugs him and he presses his face into her belly as he shakes.

She lets him stay there until he’s done crying. When Kageyama pulls away, he wipes his face on the back of his hand. “I’m sorry,” he says.

“Don’t be, Tobio,” she says. “Don’t be sorry for loving someone.”

Kageyama manages a small nod. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” she says and Kageyama knows she really means die. 

Kaegayama’s dad had died when he was just a toddler. He didn’t know much about his dad except that he was a sports writer and he was very tall. His mom got sad looks on his birthday and their anniversary but besides the framed pictures and the Japan hoodie, there wasn’t much of him around.

Kageyama wouldn’t leave his mom too.

His mom doesn’t press about who it is or anything and he’s very thankful. 

He gives his mom a kiss on the cheek and retreats to his bedroom to sleep some more and he dreams of orange hair, small hands and volleyball.

The next day is mostly the same. He tries to do his school work but it’s pretty difficult since he wasn’t there for the lessons. He gets through some english vocabulary and practices a few lines of kanji before he gives up. Then he eats some soup and watches more volleyball games on Youtube. He’s not as tired as yesterday since he hasn't done much physical activity in a few days. He does attempt to work out in his room but a few burpees are enough to leave him winded as if he’s ran a marathon. 

And of course, he still experiences coughing attacks. He doesn’t cough up anymore flower heads which is nice but his trash can is filling up steadily with flower petals. 

When his mom gets home, she asks if he’s feeling better which is code for “have you confessed and had your feelings reciprocated?” which of course is no.

He’s helping his mom cook in the kitchen when he hears the doorbell ring.

“I’ll get it,” he says, wiping his hands on his apron.

When he opens the door, he finds Hinata standing there holding a disposable coffee cup which is promptly thrust towards him. 

“Have some tea,” Hinata says.

Kageyama stands there stunned until Hinata sighs and takes Kageyama’s hand. Kageyama watches as Hinata opens his palm with his small fingers and fits the cup into his hand and closes Kageyama’s fingers around it. Kageyama luckily grips it at the last second before Hinata removes his hand from his.

“It’s honey tea. My mom told me it’s good for your cough,” he says.

Kageyama looks down at the cup in his hand. Some part of him can’t believe Hinata would bring him tea but some other part thinks he would bring him tea even if he was halfway around the world. He feels his heart speed up at the thought.

“Thank you,” he says. He brings the cup up to his lips and takes a small sip. The tea is nice with a rich taste and a little bit of citrus. It kind of reminds him of Hinata. “You can come in if you want,” he tells Hinata who is standing there, rocking on his heels.

“Okay!” Hinata smiles. 

Kageyama steps out of the way as Hinata steps into his house and takes off his shoes.

“So are you cooking?” Hinata asks, taking note of Kageyama’s dark blue apron as grabs the extra pair of slippers Kageyama’s mom keeps around.

“I’m helping my mom,” Kageyama says. He takes a few more sips of his tea as he leads Hinata to the kitchen.

Hinata follows him into the kitchen. “Pardon my intrusion,” he says as he enters.

Kageyama’s mom turns around from where she’s cutting vegetables. “Hello, Hinata!” she says.

“Can I help with anything?” he asks.

And that’s how Hinata ends up helping his mom make dinner while Kageyama is banished to the living room to rest. Kageyama sips his tea and watches a Christmas movie that’s playing on tv while Hinata and his mom work diligently in the kitchen. And he only has to get up twice to cough. It’s honestly really nice and he wishes that Hinata would come over and help out with dinner everyday - not just when Kageyama was sick.

After they eat, Kageyama’s mom goes up to her room to rest while Hinata and Kageyama invade the living room. Hinata insists on making a blanket fort since they have the tools (“C’mon Kageyama! We’re still kids so let’s have fun!”). Kageyama let’s Hinata drag down some of his old blankets and watches as he carefully arranges the blankets around the couch, coffee table and some kitchen chairs. Kageyama is sent up to get pillows.

When they’re finished, they prop themselves up in the fort with the pillows and decide to watch a movie together. Kageyama doesn’t mention that his legs don’t fit in the fort, he’s just happy to sit here with Hinata in the quiet closeness. He lets Hinata choose the movie on Netflix as he excuses himself to cough. 

He sees another flower head in the toilet. Fear freezes him as he’s suddenly reminded this could very well end badly for him. Like very badly. But Hinata’s downstairs waiting and it’s not like he’s going to make Hinata love him from the bathroom. Wait, does he plan on confessing?

It doesn’t matter right now. Kageyama decides he deserves one evening without worry so he heads back downstairs and crawls into the fort to watch a movie with Hinata.

The movie is almost done when Kageyama feels a harsh constriction in his chest. He’s been lucky for the past hour and a half and it was a matter of time before this would happen. He begins to crawl out of the fort before the flowers start pushing themselves out of his mouth but he’s suddenly taken by a painful spasm in his lungs. He’s on his hands and knees trying to get out but now he’s stopped, clutching his right arm to his chest. 

“Kageyama?” Hinata asks softly. He’s paused the movie and is sitting up on his knees. 

Kageyama feels another squeeze in his lungs and he can’t keep himself from coughing. He doesn’t have the ability to cover his mouth as his head leans towards the floor and his right arm presses itself further into his chest, right over his heart.

His lungs scream, his throat is on fire, and his mouth is slick with saliva as he stays bent over, heaving flower petal after petal onto the floor. 

He doesn’t have the ability to look up to Hinata but if he could, he would have seen the absolute shock in Hinata’s face and the tears pricking at his eyes. Hinata’s helpless as he watches Kageyama gasp for breath as more flowers pour from Kageyama’s mouth and land in a sticky fashion to the floor. 

When it’s over, there is probably a good handful of petals on the floor with a single flower head in the mix. It’s disgusting but thankfully there’s no blood. Kageyama bitterly laughs inside his head that blood would be the problem in this whole mess.

He sits back on his knees, eyes glued to the floor, stretching the blanket that's over his head, encompassing them in the fort. He wipes his mouth on his sleeve and pants softly. 

Kageyama tries to work up the nerve so look at Hinata but he finds he can’t. What is he even going to say? 

Hinata takes the initiative. “You have hanahaki?” he whispers.

Kageyama nods, still not looking up. 

“Who-,” Hinata stops. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he says instead.

At that Kageyama looks up. He wants Hinata to ask him who. To demand he tells him who it is. But instead this is what he wants to know and Kageyama’s heart drops.

Hinata’s chin is tucked to his chest and he’s squeezing his hands to his side. Kageyama wants to hug him and tell him not to be so sad. He doesn’t though.

“I didn’t want you to worry,” Kageyama says.

“How could I not?!” Hinata yells, finally looking up. 

Kageyama freezes at the tears in Hinata’s eyes. He didn’t mean to do this. He doesn’t want Hinata to cry. 

“Hinata, I-”

“Kageyama, you’re so dumb,” Hinata says. He takes a shuddering breath and wipes his eyes. “Kageyama, I want you to crawl out of this fort and not move.”

Kageyama knows from his tone he has to obey these orders so he awkwardly shuffles out of the fort and sits down in front of the couch to wait. Hinata comes out a few moments later. Kageyama’s heart pounds as Hinata crawls towards him with a predatory gaze. 

_ Is he going to kiss me? Is he going to confess? Am I going to be okay? Will I live? _

But Hinata doesn’t do that. Instead Kageyama feels a sharp slap to his cheek and before his head can even bounce back, there are arms around him. It’s so emotionally confusing, he thinks he’ll get whiplash.

“Don’t keep things from me, Bakayama,” Hinata sniffles into Kageyama’s shoulders.

Kageyama shakily brings his hands up to hug Hinata back. Hinata who has just slapped him and who is crying into Kageyama’s shoulder while he sits in his lap with his arms arms him. This boy is so confusing but it’s impossible not to love him.

Their hug doesn’t last long and Hinata is up and cleaning up the fort before he knows it. 

“Kageyama, I’ll take the blankets upstairs but I’m not touching your gross body flowers,” he says.

“Dumbass, don’t call it that,” he says, swiping at Hinata’s head.

Hinata just laughs and starts folding the blankets.

When the blankets and pillows are back in Kageyama’s room and Kageyama has swept up the flowers and cleaned the spit, they sit on Kageyama’s bed. 

“Would you have told me?” Hinata asks.

_ Definitely but in like another week when I worked up the nerve to tell you I love you _ . “Probably,” Kageyama says. 

“Good,” Hinata smiles.

Kageyama smiles back.

“Let’s play some volleyball, Bakayama,” Hinata says, bouncing off from the bed and grabbing one of the volleyballs Kageyama keeps in his room. “I’m still expecting you to teach me how to jump serve.”

They play volleyball outside in the cold darkness. They pass a bit and Kageyama sets a few times for Hinata and they almost forget about the jump serve after Kageyama coughs up some more flowers but Hinata insists on at least having Kageyama show him the approach before they call it quits. 

It’s Thursday night and it’s already late. Kageyama’s mom offers to drive Hinata home but Hinata just grins and says he likes biking. Kageyama watches him bike into the night.

Before he sleeps, Hinata sends him a text.

10:48 PM - From Hinata

r you going to sell your body flowers?

10:49 PM - To Hinata

Don’t be disgusting

10:50 PM - From Hinata

BWAHAHAHA

10:55 PM - From Hinata

good night kageyama 

10:56 PM - To Hinata

Good night Hinata

10:57 PM - To Hinata

I liked the tea. Thank you.

10:58 PM - From Hinata

❤⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ )

It’s Friday and instead of going to school and looking forward to late evening practice, Kageyama is once again bedridden.

He’s wasted enough days skipping school work so between getting up to make tea and using the bathroom, he spends the day going through all his homework. 

Sugawara and Tanaka text to see if he’s doing okay and Sugawara tells him he’s going to send Hinata over later with a surprise. 

2:50 PM - To Sugawara

What's the surprise?

3:05 PM - From Sugawara

It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, duh

Kageyama finishes his homework at around 5. His mom works another job on Friday night so she won’t be home until the next day. She left him money to buy dinner (with a note saying she included extra for Hinata) as well as Hinata’s washed and folded scarf.

Kageyama makes a split second decision to keep Hinata’s scarf instead of giving it back today. It’s not like Hinata would expect it back before he’s healthy again, he reasons. He hides it in his drawer before going back downstairs to rest on the couch. 

He’s looking at his volleyball magazine, reading up on his competition for the upcoming national tournament when Hinata arrives. As he’s about to open the door he remembers Sugawara’s words and he freezes. He really does hate surprises.

But after thinking for as long as he can, he can’t figure out what his surprise will be. So he opens the door to Hinata. Hinata is holding a small pot in one hand and in the other there’s another coffee cup.

“How did you get here?” Kageyama asks, eying the bike next discarded in his yard.

Hinata grins. “Through hard work and dedication. Now let me in, Bakayama. This is heavy!”

Kageyama takes the pot from Hinata and walks to the kitchen. The pot is kind of heavy.

Hinata joins him in the kitchen a moment later. “Here’s your tea,” Hinata says.

Kageyama grabs it and drinks deeply. “Where are you getting this tea from?” he asks. As far as he knows, there’s no tea place near Karasuno.

“It’s near the train station, Yachi told me about it,” he says. 

Kageyama’s eyes widen. “But that’s the opposite direction of my house.” It would add an extra 15 minutes to Hinata’s commute time, at least.

But Hinata just shrugs. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Kageyama nods but secretly he’s gushing. He can’t believe Hinata does all this for him. It makes his heart flutter. “So what’s in the pot,” he asks.

Hinata shrugs. “I actually don’t know. Sugawara gave it to me,” he says. 

_ Oh, this is the surprise. _

Kageyama and Hinata both lean over the pot as Kageyama lifts the lid. For a split second he wonders if it’ll be a prank but his fear disappears as he’s brought face to face (and smell to nose) with pork curry. His stomach immediately growls. 

“AH SUGA’S THE BEST!!” Hinata yells. 

Kageyama agrees wholeheartedly. Before he can eat though, he feels another tightness in his chest - a painful reminder of his predicament. 

Instead of hiding upstairs to cough, Kageyama pulls the kitchen trash can to the corner and coughs up all the flowers built up in his chest. Hinata thankfully ignores him and heats up their curry. He even takes out some eggs from the fridge to fry.

As Hinata cooks the eggs (“Just go sit down, Bakayama”) Kageyama texts Sugawara.

6:20 PM - To Sugawara

Thank you so much

6:22 PM - From Sugawara

You’re welcome! It’s my mom’s recipe so I hope you enjoy it

6:22 PM - To Sugawara

Tell her thank you for me

6:23 PM - From Sugawara

*attch*

Kageyama clicks on the picture. It’s Sugawara and Daichi at a cafe and they’re thumbs upping at the camera. Kageyama smiles. He hopes he’ll get to spend time with Hinata like that. 

Hinata and him on a date. It would be nice, he thinks.

Before he can explore his fantasy further, Hinata is presenting two bowls of pork curry with a fried egg on top. Kageyama grins at him.

“Thank you,” he says.

Hinata smiles back. “Let’s eat, I’m hungry.”

They tuck into their food, devouring the contents quickly and Kageyama even gets up for another bowl. He didn’t realize how hungry he was today.

“Kageyama, I’m curious,” Hinata says around a mouthful.

Kageyama freezes as he’s about to take a bite of his food.  _ This is it, he’s going to ask who it is _ . His heart beats extremely fast as he prepares to answer but he’s out of luck again.

“What does your body flower mean?” Hinata asks.

Kageyama’s body relaxes a bit then he shoots a glare at Hinata. “Stop calling it that!” he says.

Hinata rolls his eyes. “It’s a flower from your body!”

Kageyama doesn't have the energy to argue about this. He sighs. “It’s a lily. A Peruvian Lily to be exact.”

Hinata hums. “What does it mean,” he asks.

Kageyama considers lying but it doesn’t make sense, especially when Hinata has google for free on his phone. “It’s love,” he says, putting his bowl down.

“Well duh,” Hinata says. “That’s boring.”

Kageyama shakes his head. “It’s love and friendship. The orange one specifically means happiness and energy.”

“Ohh! That’s way cool!”

“I thought it was boring just a second ago!”

“Yeah but that’s before I knew what it meant!”

Kageyama closes his eyes. “Let’s just finish our food.”

“Whatever you say, Bakayama.”

They end up on Kageyama’s bed again after dinner. Kageyama has been feeling extremely tired since he can’t get as much air into his lungs as he would like. When he had told Hinata, Hinata had insisted on looking up diagrams. Hinata is fascinated with the whole genetics and biological side of the disease and Kageyama wants to hit him for it. 

_ Stop focusing on the wrong thing and love me!  _ He was to yell.

Kageyama felt sick looking at the medical illustrations of flowers and roots and vines all creating a mini ecosystem inside his body (his poor precious body). He made Hinata stop and just rest with him.

Hinata hums a song as they lay in the dark room. Kageyama doesn’t say anything as focuses on his breathing. In fact, it’s kind of nice to be here with Hinata. He almost reaches out to hold Hinata’s hand over the covers but he stops himself. Instead he focuses on breathing.

In.

Out

In.

Out.

It eases him to feel the rise and fall of his chest even if he’s feeling the tightness all around his lungs.

Kageyama wonders if he’ll play volleyball again. A real game with his team and Hinata. He wants to confess to Hinata right then and there to find out if he can expect to make it to nationals but he doesn’t want to. There’s a risk Hinata won’t love him back and then- and then Kageyama can’t think past that. So they lay there in the dark until Kageyama hears Hinata’s breath even out and he closes his own eyes and slips into sleep.

Kageyama wakes up without air in his lungs. He shoots up straight as he struggles to gasp for air. Hinata sits up next to him, immediately jumping into fight or flight mode. 

“Kageyama?” he asks frantically.

Kageyama can’t respond as he continues to struggle for air. He realizes he’s choking and he leans forward, trying to dislodge the fucking flower from his throat.

Hinata must realize and starts patting Kageyama’s back. Gently at first but then harder. 

Kageyama wonders if he’s blue and just as he thinks he’s going to pass out and die the flower passes into his mouth and Kageyama can pull it out with sticky fingers. He’s shaking as he holds the flower in front of him and takes quick shallow breaths. Hinata lets out a sigh of relief as he falls back onto the bed. 

“Holy shit, Kageyama,” he says.

Kageyama doesn’t say anything. His eyes are closed and he’s trying to breath normally which is impossible with the flowers still attached to his lungs. 

When he opens his eyes finally he almost screams. It’s a different flower this time and he realizes the white pedals are covered in blood. 

“Hinata,” Kageyama’s voice is scratchy as he tries to stay calm. “Hinata,” he repeats.

Hinata sits up. “Yeah?”

“Don’t freak out but can you look up this flower for me?” he says, turning his body to present Hinata with the bloodied flower.

Unlike him, Hinata does scream. So much for being calm. 

“Hinata, just look it up, please,” he begs.

Hinata places a hand on his chest. “How are you being calm right now? That’s a super big flower and it's covered in blood. Your blood!”

Kageyama sighs. “I can’t look it up myself because of my bloody hands and I can’t put it down or else it’ll get blood everyone so please Hinata, just find this thing.”

“You’re telling me you aren’t even a little freaked out? I mean there’s probably blood in your mouth, right??”

Now that he mentions it, he can taste the copper of his blood in his mouth. And of course he’s freaked out! But he needs Hinata now so he pushes through.

“Please, Shouyou,” he says.

Hinata’s given name pulls him out of his panic and he nods. He’s quick on his phone and within two minutes he’s reading off an article about gardenias.

“It says here,” he says. “Gardenias symbolize purity and gentleness as well as pure attraction. Wow, Kageyama, you’re so romantic.”

Kageyama groans. “Can you keep going?”

“Oh yeah. It also says it symbolizes love, we know that, and joy.”

“Is that it?” Kageyama asks.

“I think so- Hold on. Here’s something else. It says that it can also symbolize secret love between two people.”

Kageyama stops breathing but for entirely different reasons than the little plant nursery inside his body. Secret love between two people must mean that-

“Wait so your person loves you back,” Hinata says.

It must mean that.

Kageyama feels dizzy,

“Kageyama this is great! You’re going to be saved!” Hinata says, jumping off the bed.

But Kageyama doesn’t feel joyful at all. The stupud flower must be wrong or else Hinata wouldn’t be acting so happy that another person would love Kageyama back. It doesn't make sense. 

Kageyama stands up from his bed on shaky legs and walks to the bathroom to clean up his mess. 

He bitterly throws his flower in the trashcan and washes his hands. He watches the pink blood flow down the drain. Then he cups water into his mouth and spits. He repeats it again and again until his mouth isn’t bloody anymore.

When he looks up, he’s surprised to find Hinata standing there at the door frame. He looks kind of - sad.

“I’m going to go, Kageyama,” he says, pointing behind himself.

Kageyama doesn’t want him to. Because the flower is wrong and this is it. This is the last time he’ll be with Shouyou for real. He’s going to die now and Shouyou won’t love him but he wants him tonight. He wants to pretend.

“Don’t go,” he says, reaching out for Hinata’s sleeve as turns away. “Stay the night with me.”

Hinata looks at him in surprise. “But don’t you need to, like, confess your love or something?”

Kageyama’s heart feels like it's been stabbed but he pushes forward. “Just sleep over tonight. My mom won’t be back tonight and-” he waves his hand.  _ Fuck now he’s going to think I need him as life alert. _

Hinata just nods. “Okay but let me call my mom.”

Kageyama goes back to his room and changes into his night clothes as Hinata calls him mom. Hinata asks to shower afterward and Kageyama tries not to think about him using his shampoo and bodywash as he prepares a bundle of clothes for Hinata to wear (then he tries not to think about Hinata in his clothes or else he’ll lose it).

When Hinata comes out of the shower, he’s wearing Kageyama’s dark blue hoodie and the smallest sweatpants Kageyama could find from middle school but he notices Hinata still had to tie the drawstring tightly. 

“Where’s the futon, Bakayama?” Hinata asks, ruffling his hair with the towel.

“Um, no where?” Kageyama says.

“Then where am I going to sleep?” Hinata asks, his brows furrowed.

Oh. “Just sleep in my bed,” Kageyama says, trying to sound casual. 

In fact, it's far from casual and his heart is beating super fast as he turns out the light and climbs into bed. Hinata climbs in after him. They seem to hold their breath. It’s not like all their sleepovers at training camp have prepared them to be sleeping in the same bed. 

Hinata shifts first and brings his arm across Kageyama, hugging him. Kageyama doesn’t say anything even though he really enjoys it. When Hinata feels like he’s safely gotten away with that, he shifts his body closer, pressing his side into Kageyama. Then, with one more act of bravery, he rests his head on Kageyama’s chest.

Kageyama thinks he’s going to explode.

Kageyama commits his own act of bravery as he brings arms up to hold Hinata closer to him.

Neither of them say anything.

_ If Hinata is doing this, does that mean the flower is right? Does he love me? _

Hinata clears his throat. “Stop overthinking,” he says.

Kageyama nods as he holds him tighter. Will this be the last time he gets to do this? To even feel another human's warmth towards him? His breath shudders. 

_ I can’t die. I can’t die. I can’t die. I can’t die. _

He thinks it over and over again until he feels tears prickling in his eyes.

“I don’t want to die,” Kageyama’s voice shudders in the darkness.

Hinata looks up at him. It’s hard for Hinata to move since Kageyama has him in a tight grip to his chest but he can Kageyama’s eyes squeezed tightly as tears trickle down his face.

Hinata thinks he’s going to start crying too.

“You won’t die,” he says, struggling out of Kageyama’s grip. Kageyama lets him move but only a little as he keeps crying.

“You won’t die, Kageyama,” he says again. “The flower said the person loves you back! It’ll be okay.”

Kageyama hugs him tighter. “The flower lied,” he says.

“How do you know?” Hinata can feel the tears pooling in his own eyes now.

“I’m dying because the flower lied. It said the person loved me back but they don’t. They were happy I was going to confess to someone else.” His words are hard to understand between sobs but it's there. It’s there.

“Who is it, Tobio?” Hinata asks, his voice shaky from his own tears.

“It’s you,” Kageyama says, opening his bright blue eyes to look at Hinata.

Hinata’s eyes - so full of tears and sadness - soften. 

Hinata brings his own arms up, finally breaking free of Kageyama’s grip and enveloping him in his own embrace. 

“I love you, Tobio. I love you so please don’t say you’re dying. I’m right here.”

Kageyama cries harder and brings his arms up to hold Hinata to him. “I love you too, Shouyou.”

He’s not sure how long they stay there in their teary eyes, but Kageyama’s sure that it’s his lips that find Hinata’s. It’s a gentle kiss that doesn’t last long but it's enough. It’s enough to plant a seed of hope for love and the future - one where Kageyama won’t die trying to watch it grow. 

Later, when they’re done crying and Hinata has kissed him six more times (he counted) he realizes he can breathe. For the first time in almost a week, he can breathe fully again. He takes a deep and exaggerated breath just to check. And yes, his lungs can fill all the way now.

He laughs, finally feeling happy and giddy for the first time since finding out he loves Hinata.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he laughs, as he squeezes Hinata’s shoulders. It’s okay now that he knows - now that they both know. It doesn't hurt to ask.

Hinata shakes his head. “I’m stupid,’ he says. “I thought you loved someone else.”

Kageyama kisses his hair. “I could only love you.”

_____

On Monday, Hinata and Kageyama walk into the gym together holding hands instead of charging in from their usual race. Sugawara almost drops the pole that holds up the net on Daichi’s toe when he notices.

“Kageyama!” he yells, rushing to him. “You did it! I knew my mom’s special curry would help!”

Hinata looks between them. “You knew??”

Kageyama shakes his head and Sugawara answers. “I found out he had hanahaki and well, those flower petals reminded me an awful lot like you. I just put two and two together,” he says with a shrug.

Kageyama knew it.

“KAGEHINA!” Kageyama hears behind them.

He turns around to see Tanaka running towards him and Hinata and tackling them in his embrace.

“What is a ‘kagehina’?” Hinata asks from under Tanaka’s body.

Tanaka grins. “Isn’t it cute? Ryu and I made you guys a relationship name.”

They grunt as another weight barrels into them. “KAGEHINA!” Noya yells from his place on top of the dogpile.

Kageyama groans from underneath all of them. 

“Okay, okay,” Daichi says, walking up to them. He scolds Nishinoya and Tanaka as Kageyama helps Hinata to his feet.

“You’re the best boyfriend,” Hinata says, placing a quick kiss on lips.

“Yeah?” Kageyama grins like an idiot. Because he is. He’s an idiot who’s in love with Hinata and volleyball.

“Yup!” Hinata sings as skips over to grab a volleyball. “Now teach me how to jump serve!”

Kageyama rolls his eyes fondly as he makes his way over to Hinata. If he’s lucky, Hinata can maybe get the serve down by nationals but even if he can’t, they have all the time in the world to get it right.

**Author's Note:**

> as for the scarf, kageyama kept it and wears it all the time and sometimes he sleeps with it.
> 
> thank you all for reading! please feel free to check out my [twitter](https://twitter.com/tskymaa) or [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/karasuno.journals/)
> 
> concerning the tw:  
> kageyama is overwhelmed when researching hanahaki and he has a panic attack as he thinks he's going to die soon and he doesn't want to


End file.
